Start from last night, Ben is on trial to for independent sleep.
I WAS DEVASTATED.
Funny, since before last night, I was still wondering when he would get more independent. There are moments, I must admit with shame, when I got impatient with him being clingy to me, or even just being affectionate to me, like trying to kiss me like thousands time.
:'(
And now, that not-so-little baby of mine is bravely sleeping apart from his mother (husband sleeping with him for the first night). I can't help remembering the first time I had to stop nursing him, it was also painful. Then when we decided to sleep in separate bed, it was also a heartbreaking experience for me.
And yet this new step for us also brings the same awful feeling inside. I will deeply miss listening to him breathing, I will miss stooping by his bed just to watch him sleep, kiss his chubby cheek, or put some ointment on his scar, which he would refuse strongly by day. I know, I've been silly and impatient almost every time when he cried for bathroom in the middle of the night, and I started to repeat the question on my head: "When will he ever grow up and start doing things by himself?"
But this grumpy Momma did not anticipate the day when her baby boy suddenly step on a higher ladder with no warning. As much as I thought I want to ditch our habit of sleeping together, it turns out that it was me who feel most comfortable doing that.
Excuse me, I'm going to weep.
