after the 'R' day

So, I have resigned from the place I'd been working - more precisely, serving - for about 4 years or so. Funny how people always refer me as an eternal staff there, since some of my friends worked longer than I did.



Anyway, I worked as the secretary and lately, also served as an editor for our weekly-then-turned-bimonthly (twice a month one) internal mini magazine. I enjoyed quite every moments there, though some were pretty tough and giving me hard times.



I remember at 2007 when a new staff came, and it turned out that we didn't get along well. It was messed up. But the problem (seemed) to cleared up when the new staff decided to leave. Quite a 'phew' from me, though :D


The boat rocked again this year, when our leaders decided to end the journey. Or moving the people to another boat. And I decided to sail my own.


Actually, God has spoken since my birthday back in 2009. He reminded me of my talents and dreams in writing. Then, people started to deliver that message, that I should stand for my dreams. From people I know, I barely know, until I don't know at all :D


So, now it's fair for me to say that it shouldn't be big surprise that I quit this year. Well, that for people who really know me, just sayin'.


It's been 23 days since I quitted, and I feel totally like a 'pengacara' (pengangguran banyak acara - a busy-bee jobless :p). Let’s see… I went to Singapore the third day I resigned, afterwards I have been busy with my parents who are visiting, and some Colorado guests who are looking for a life-changing experience here.


It has been fun. I never feel unproductive even a single day! Still, I don’t earn money from being productive these couple weeks :D


So yes, there’s a bit sting of worries on my heart and mind… What will I do? Where are all jobs when I need them the most? Why don’t they send me another material? Did they find my works dull and not good? I don’t know. One thing I do know and sure of, my Father is a Provider. The Lord I believe is a Provider. He has called me to get out from my comfort zone to a brand new place. But like Abraham, I think I’m gonna find that the destination doesn’t matter as much as the journey does. The journey of faith, of trusting and depending on Him, no matter what the world may say and the situation might be.


It’s not easy, really. Some people think that I’m stupid for letting go my fixed job. They will comment, “Why don’t you wait up til you get married? Use all the facilities!” I stand for what I trust. I believe that I was serving people of God, so the money and all facilities are not to be manipulated like that! It’s not proper, and my heart will not conform to it.


So… I’m not trying to impress God. But honestly, I need Him to show me His favour. That will be the strength of my days.