Thursday, 8 January 2015

I'm grateful!


Setelah beberapa tahun ini menebak-nebak, semalam gw pun mendapatkan konfirmasi.
Ya, mereka hidup dengan subsidi. Ya, segala kemewahan mereka disubsidi, bukan dari gaji penuh sang suami, tapi dari ayah si istri.
Dan melihat betapa menggebu-gebunya si pembawa berita - yang notabene adalah ibu kandung si suami di atas - agar ayah si istri - alias besannya sendiri - berkenan memberikan piutang untuk keluarga tersebut membeli rumah, gw hampir gak bisa kaget lagi.
Ke mana harga dirinya?
Apakah semata-mata karena uang, maka dia begitu total 'melayani' menantunya itu? Sadarkah dia, selama ini jalan-jalan, makan-makan mahal yang mereka nikmati, sebagian besar (mungkin) berasal dari hasil kerja keras besannya?
Ke mana harga diri suaminya?
Gw yakin betul gajinya tidak mungkin cukup untuk membiayai hidup mereka, plus gaya hidup si istri yang tidak banyak surut sejak 'kejatuhan' mereka beberapa tahun lalu.
Bisakah dia tidur nyenyak setiap hari, dengan kenyataan bahwa hidup mereka masih ditunjang oleh orang tua?
How could they?

Dan, gw pun bersyukur. Benar-benar bersyukur. Meskipun hidup kami jauh dari mewah, pas-pasan, tapi hampir semua dibiayai oleh kami sendiri (sampai akhir tahun kemarin, biaya listrik dan air masih ditanggung orang tua). Kami menikmati hasil kerja keras kami sendiri.
Gw bersyukur, tahu ke mana suami gw setiap hari, tahu jam berapa dia akan pulang setiap hari.
Gw bersyukur, gak perlu cari utangan ke mana-mana, gak perlu menghamparkan harga diri demi bisa hidup enak.
Dan baru kali ini, gw bisa melihat, sesungguhnya gw sama sekali gak boleh memandang diri gw lebih rendah daripada mereka. Hanya karena mereka bisa makan di tempat-tempat mewah, gak berarti mereka lebih hebat. Jempol dari suami saat menikmati masakan gw (yang gak sering-sering amat juga sih), itu jauh membuat gw merasa lebih hebat.


Monday, 24 November 2014


My sister is married now.

Well, yesterday was the precise date, 22 November 2014, when she was married to the love of her life. They have been through ups-and-downs, tears and laughters, so many things I believe that had made them grow even stronger in commitment.

It is pretty strange that she no longer lives in this house. I've been used to living with her like for ages. Though we didn't see each other very often, didn't really chat very deeply, yet I knew, she slept next to my room, and whenever I heard her voice, I knew she was home safely.

There are some things that I might found them annoying, as her habits of using like 2 or 3 glasses in a day, how she put her things anywhere, unfinished meals in fridge and sometimes they would be left decaying inside. Honestly, I was a bit relieved knowing I wouldn't encounter those things anymore.

But now she is truly gone, I felt a small thump in my core. Like a little hole there. My parents would go home too by this Friday, and soon I would be alone with my boy again during the daylights.

I'm happy for you, lil sis. I hope you have a very happy married life!!! But I already missed you :'(



Wednesday, 12 November 2014


I may not have their affection.
I may not be able to dine in fancy places, go to foreign cities anytime I wish or buy branded stuff no matter how much I desire.
I may not be able to complete the series of my favourite brands.
I may not be able to buy expensive, cutting-edge toys for my son.
I may not try to celebrate my son's birthday in a famous restaurant and invite the whole clan.
My husband may not try to buy me glittering jewelleries for me to publish for the world to see.
I may not be the favourite one in the clan.
I may not be the supple mom, blending in everywhere I turn.

But.

I'm grateful, that my son can't stay away from me for long.
I'm grateful, that my son demands me to feed him, to sleep beside him.
I'm grateful, that my son needs me.
I'm grateful, that my husband is a clear man.
I'm grateful, that I can be myself.


Sunday, 2 November 2014

let it go


I really need to stop the stalking. It won't help.
Why do I keep viewing her as a competitor? Maybe she doesn't even think I exist, unless there are few times we ought to gather as a circle.
Please, please, mind your own business!!! Let her be with all her foolishness. Maybe she doesn't see those as a foolishness. Let her be with her own pride. Whatever forms they are in. Be it her magnificent love for and from her hubby and darling son, be it her newest outfit or shoes or bags or ever so faithful loving friends, or her latest finding of great and expensive food. Be it!!!
Let her be with her own world.
You think she doesn't deserve them all, due to what she had done, especially what she had done to you in the past? It's none of your business.
Go on with your life. It is more important than stalking her to find her slightest laughable actions and share them with your pals.
Your life is more important that all of that. Don't live in the past. Don't observe, don't compare.
Just live your life as God has set it to be.
Be free.


Monday, 22 September 2014

BerryBenka vs Pink Emma - Review


Setelah sekian lama gw belanja online lewat Instagram, beberapa hari yang lalu gw ketemu penawaran yang cukup menarik dari online shop besar di Indonesia: BerryBenka dan Pink Emma.

BerryBenka (BB) dan Pink Emma (PE) bukan situs asing sebenernya buat gw. Cukup sering juga gw jajan mata di situ. Sekilas, Pink Emma terkesan lebih murah, email-email penawaran yang dikirimkan pun terasa lebih personal, dengan membubuhkan sapaan "sis" dan menyebut si penerima email dengan "kamu".

Gw lagi nyari-nyari ikat pinggang diameter kecil yang biasa dipake buat dress, dan biasalah, cewek, dari ikat pinggang bisa nyasar ke cardigan, kemeja, dress, rok, tas, balik lagi nyari kemeja hitam-lah, kemeja motif bunga-bunga-lah.
Pilihan pertama tadinya ke PE, tapi waktu jalan-jalan di BB, ketemu produk yang gak terlalu mahal dan kelihatan bagus. So, gw pesen ikat pinggang di BB. Agak kaget waktu masuk ke detail pembayaran, karena ongkirnya (JNE) 9500 perak. Padahal setau gw, ongkir JNE antar Jakarta itu 8000 perak untuk reguler. Belum lagi ada tambahan kode pembayaran, sebesar 252 perak. Kecil sih emang, tapi gw selalu sebal kalo ketambahan kode begini, kan jadi gak bulet lagi harganya, gak sesuai yang tertera. Ish.
Maka, dengan harga ikat pinggang sebesar 35.000 perak, total yang harus gw bayar untuk belanja di BB adalah 44.752 perak.

Di waktu yang bersamaan, gw juga lagi keliling di PE, dan ketemu penawaran seru. Ada cardigan yang sedang diskon 49%, lalu dapet kode diskon lagi (potong 25 ribu), jadi cardigan yang asalnya senilai 89 ribu, total hanya senilai 24 ribu rupiah! Plus ongkir 9 ribu, jadi gw harus transfer 33 ribu perak.

Pembelian sama-sama dilakukan pada Kamis malam. Gw prediksi Sabtu sore bisa sampe, ato paling apes Senin lah.